Shattered
by Sharn-sharn
Summary: "I promise, Mistkit, that you won't suffer for the mistakes of your parents." Tortured for something she couldn't control, Mistpaw is an outcast of her own Clan. All she wants to do is fit in, but how is that possible when it seems that everyone is against you?
1. Prologue: A Mother's Love

**So, I haven't really posted any new stories,** _ **or**_ **updated many of my current ones. And I got a little plot bunny that would just** _ **not**_ **go away. So, I just started writing, and I got… this. Should I continue?**

 **. . .**

 **Prologue**

"… _dirty._ "

"…. _So disgusting..._ "

"… _filthy…"_

The she-cat valiantly ignored the whispers, keeping her head down, with her eyes firmly glued to the ground.

She could feel their gazes at her back, but it wouldn't stop her. They could be cruel, yes, and even sneer at her behind her back, but she knew they had no courage to do it face to face.

For the time being, she was safe.

But she was hyperaware of the precious bundle clutched firmly in her mouth. It was sleeping for now, but it was so incredibly young, so tiny, that even the slightest breeze could knock it over.

But, she wouldn't allow that.

The she-cat headed straight to the medicine cat's den. No matter what happened, Oakfall would understand.

He would never betray her.

It was biting cold outside, but the she-cat pressed on, lumbering through the snow, and trying with all her might to keep her head up. Oakfall's den was nearly covered by the bright, icy powder, but she managed to locate it.

She pawed away the snow, before pushing her burden through the gap. Then, she squeezed through herself and pulled her bundle back up to her mouth.

Moments later, the she-cat heard a rustling noise, before a disbelieving voice cut through.

"Mallowfern?" it asked in disbelief. "Is that you?"

The she-cat, Mallowfern, only nodded, before gazing down with a fond, weary smile. "Shh, Oakfall," she mewed. "She's sleeping. Any louder, and you'll wake her up."

"Huh?" Oakfall questioned. "Wake _who_ up-?" he trailed off when he saw what was situated at her belly.

"What?" he hissed, fixing her with angry eyes. "Is _that_ why you were gone for so long? You _do_ know that the Clan thought you were dead, and then you come back out of the blue with- with…"

"A kit," Mallowfern supplied, flashing him a bitter smile. "I didn't plan on it- I mean, _she_ wasn't planned, and with the way we were living, I thought it would be best to come back."

"But… but _why?_ "

Mallowfern fixed him with a flat gaze. "We were starving," she mewed. "I was pregnant, and early last night… I…"

"You went into labour," Oakfall finished. "But why come back? You _know_ that Thornstar will let you back into the Clan… not after you humiliated him so much."

"I know," Mallowfern replied wearily. "But what else was I supposed to do? Becomes mates with a cat I don't even love?"

Oakfall looked sympathetic. "Thornstar may be brutal, but he's not _that_ bad."

She sighed. "He is, Oakfall. I've known him since I was an apprentice, and even then, he was bad. When he became deputy, I thought he would have matured. But…"

"What do you want me to do?" the medicine cat asked flatly. "I'm guessing you want me to raise it. But I can't keep your kit a secret forever. Even you know that."

"I'm asking you to do the best you can," Mallowfern replied. "I would take her with me, but the conditions out there are… I would feel better if she was raised in a Clan," she finished firmly. "In a stable and safe environment."

"And you think she'll be accepted?" Oakfall was at a loss of words. "After what you did? Running off with a rogue, and then daring to come back moons later with a _kit_ no less?"

"It's for the best," she said. "If she came with me, she'd starve to death. And I want her to have the best possible life she can, even _if_ it's without me."

The medicine cat growled. "Stop being so selfish," he snapped. "The kit needs her mother. And you're leaving her behind to go back to that- that _rogue!_ "

Mallowfern flinched. "Like I said, it's for the best," she said, mimicking her earlier words.

"She will hate you," Oakfall said. "She will hate you for abandoning her in a nest of crows. The Clan will forever be suspicious of her- StarClan, the other kits in the nursery will probably mock her for being a half-Clan _Foxheart_."

"Don't call her that!" Mallowfern snapped. "She may be half-Clan, but her parentage isn't her fault. I want her to have a better chance, and in here, she can get that chance. I want her to grow up happy and healthy, never having to worry about starving to death in the snow, or having to fight for her food."

Oakfall sighed. "Fine, _fine_ ," he said. "I'll try my best, but I _can't_ raise her, Mallowfern. I'm a medicine cat, remember? One of the other queens will have to do that task."

Mallowfern stared sadly down at her daughter.

The kit, no more than a few hours old, was curled into a tiny ball and nestled into the creamy fur of her belly.

She looked just like her father, what with her greyish fur, but she seemed to have inherited Mallowfern's own small build, or she could have just been born smaller than normal without enough sustenance.

Mallowfern had very nearly starved when she had been pregnant. But everything, every hurdle and heartbreak, had been worth it for this one single moment.

Everything had been worth it for _her_.

"What's her name?" Oakfall murmured cautiously.

"She… she doesn't have one yet," Mallowfern replied sadly. "There was no time. I had to get her here before she freezed to death."

The medicine cat sighed. "Poor thing," he muttered. "Well, are you going to give her a name? What was the name of that mate of yours?"

"Storm," she said without a moment's hesitation, and in her mind, she easily pictured the cat she had fallen in love with. "But I don't think she'd like that very much. Being named after her father, I mean."

"Name her after her pelt then?" Oakfall phrased it more like a question. "I don't know. But to me, it kind of resembles… _mist?_ "

"Mistkit then," Mallowfern said fondly.

"What am I supposed to tell Thornstar, Mallowfern?" Oakfall asked after a moment of silence.

"The truth," she said without hesitation.

"Uh, Mallowfern," the medicine cat said softly. "I don't think Thornstar would even _take_ in the kit of the cat that caused him that much pain."

"He'll have to," Mallowfern answered with conviction. "I don't even think _he_ is that cold-hearted. He wouldn't just leave a tiny kit in the snow to die. And Mistkit's just a baby, really. A tiny, tiny baby."

Oakfall sighed. "Fine, fine," he muttered. "You should go. The Clan probably knows you're here by now."

"Yes, I know," she said. "They saw me walking through camp."

Mallowfern bent her head and licked her daughter one last time. "Goodbye, Mistkit," she murmured. "I don't think you'll ever see me again, but have a good life. Don't let anyone ruin that for you, and if someone does, be like your father and tell them off." She chuckled softly at that, smoothly rising to her paws.

Oakfall pulled the kit into his own belly, when she squirmed at the loss of her mother's heat.

"Thank you for everything, Oakfall," Mallowfern said sincerely. "And please take care of her for me. Tell her about her parents if she asks, please?" She thought that could be at least _that_ selfish, right?

Oakfall only nodded. "Of course," he said. "I will. Be safe, Mallowfern."

The she-cat smiled one last, teary smile, before turning the other way and exiting the den.

She was gone.

Oakfall gazed down at the slumbering kit.

"I promise, Mistkit," he murmured. "That you won't suffer for the mistakes of your parents."


	2. Chapter One: Love and Hate Collide

**Thanks for the reviews, guys. Great to know that someone's reading this and enjoying it.**

 **. . .**

 **Chapter One**

"Mama, it _hurts_!" came Sparrowkit's cry.

He tried dodging his mother's tongue, but was not so successful, and so had to withstand her rather affectionate behaviour.

Mistkit watched the exchange through hooded eyes. He was putting up a good fight, but was no match for the strength of his mother.

Of her love.

She gritted her teeth and turned away. She didn't want to see something so sentimental. Not after everything that had happened so far.

"Again, Mistkit?" a familiar voice sighed.

"Yes, Oakfall," she answered glumly.

"You do know that sitting around isn't going to change anything," the medicine cat pointed out.

Mistkit didn't even bother answering, instead lowering her head and pinning her gaze to the ground.

"Why do you put up with me?" she murmured, mostly to herself.

"What?" Oakfall demanded.

"Why do you put up with me?" Mistkit asked louder, this time looking up and pinning him with sharp, dark-blue eyes. "I'm nothing more than a burden."

Instantly, Oakfall's hard face softened, and he sighed softly. "Oh, Mistkit," he murmured. "You're misunderstanding everything. You're not a burden, no one thinks that."

"Thornstar does," she whispered.

"Yes, Thornstar does," the medicine cat agreed. "But only because he can't get over his own jealousy."

Mistkit cocked her head to the side, confused. "What do you mean by that?" she questioned. "Thornstar can't even stand the _sight_ of me. He _hates_ me."

"No, little one, he doesn't," Oakfall gently corrected. "He's torn, his emotions are ruling him, and there is nothing he can do to stop it. Soon, he will waste away to nothing, and he will resemble a mere shell of who he used to be."

Mistkit only sighed. "You don't hate me, do you, Oakfall?" She gazed up at him with huge, beseeching eyes.

The medicine cat swallowed tightly, hesitated, but Mistkit saw that hesitation as the confirmation of her worst fears.

"You _do_ hate me!" she near wailed.

Her eyes glittered, but she blinked them rapidly. She looked up and fixed him with an accusing stare.

"No, no!" Oakfall denied. "I _don't_ hate you. But I can't take anyone's side. You know this, Mistkit. I'm the _medicine cat_ for StarClan's sake, _not_ your father."

He put his face close to hers and murmured, "You will never have to suffer for the mistakes your parents made."

All of a sudden, Mistkit's earlier sadness practically disappeared, and she looked up at him, curiosity seeping off of her form in waves.

"My parents?" she demanded excitedly. "What about them?"

Oakfall sighed heavily. "A promise I made to your mother," he explained shortly, "before she left for good."

Her eyes widened, and she felt like she had been hit in the chest, such was her agony. It burned, ached, and _stung_ , coiling in her chest like a fiery chasm.

"Now, Mistkit," Oakfall murmured soothingly. "Before you come and accuse me of things that you have no knowledge of, know that your mother loved you. More than anything, more than her own life."

"But why did she leave me?" Mistkit asked sadly.

"Because she was doing what she thought was best for _you_ ," he responded.

Mistkit didn't reply, merely frowning thoughtfully at the ground. To her, it sounded as if her mother had come to ThunderClan to give birth, have a rendezvous with the medicine cat, then leave and go back to wherever she had come from.

The thought of her mother's abandonment made Mistkit bitter, but the bitterness did nothing to stave off the immense loneliness and anger stirring inside of her.

"I hate her," she suddenly announced. "I hate her, I hate her, _**I hate her**_ _!_ "

And, before the medicine cat could reply, Mistkit turned in the other direction and began to run, tears blurring her vision.

She was sick of feeling out of place in a Clan that should accept her for who she was, sick of being stared at like a pariah by the other kits.

The best place for her was in her own head, it seemed.

Mistkit felt her chest begin to tighten, and so she took it as her cue to stop running, before she fell over from exhaustion.

She came to a slow stop just outside of a dip, where she could hear quite a racket.

Perking up curiously, Mistkit crept toward the entrance, peering inside, and was met with the sight of a hollow with red sand and dirt, surrounded by leafy trees.

She heard voices, too, and so ducked into the shadow of a nearby tree so she wouldn't be spotted.

"Ugh, do you have to hit me so hard, Nightpaw?"

"Sorry, Briarpaw," came the sheepish reply.

Mistkit saw that there were four cats in the hollow, and the one that had just spoken was a pitch-black tom.

The first one was a she-cat with light brown fur, and she was small and lithe. The other two were bigger, and were both toms, each with dark-brown fur.

Mistkit continued watching them as they went over what looked to be battle moves, kicking up dust and dirt as they went, and laughing when they failed to land a hit.

Mistkit was so engrossed in just watching that she jerked in surprise when one said that they were finished. And she really didn't want to get caught out of camp, as she was only just a kit (privately, Mistkit thought that some cats didn't even care that she was a kit).

Mistkit took a step back, before fully turning the other way and bounding back to camp.

The first cat she came into contact with was a worried and frazzled Oakfall. The medicine cat had been concerned when she had run off, and, when he couldn't find her in any of her usual haunts, had decided to simply wait for her at the camp's entrance (apparently, no one had questioned the medicine cat on why he was sitting at the entrance instead of going out to collect herbs, or just minding his den).

Mistkit was quick to reassure him that she was fine, but he still pestered her for an examination until she acquiesced.

Mistkit never forgot the cats in the hollow, and she had taken to visiting it whenever she could sneak out of camp, provided that Oakfall didn't catch her, of course.


End file.
